Unrelated experience.

 February 18th, 2022

So, I have. A lot to say.
There’s going to be 2 more blog posts coming out within the next few days, definitely more related to the topic of the blog at hand.
Buuuut, at the request of a very kind friend of a friend…

So. February 16th. Around like 6-ish PM or so, I was sitting around in my living room, typing up one of the upcoming blog posts (A trip to a new layer! So exciting!) when the lights began to go dark. Then, I was grabbed. And kidnapped. And appeared in a car (I have never seen this car in my life) in the middle of a Sonic drive through. The sky was blue, which normally wouldn’t make me bat an eye, but. You know. The whole apocalypse thing? Yeah. I tried to take a few moments to collect myself but the people (?) behind me began to honk (WITH NORMAL CAR HORNS) loudly.
I pressed the red button at the drive through and I placed my order. Take note of this. “Some Mozzarella sticks, a chicken wrap, and a strawberry milkshake.”
They responded with “I said can I take your order?”
I repeated. They asked again. I placed a new order. They asked again, saying “Yes or no, can I get your order? We legally can’t take your order without consent, you haven’t even taken me out to dinner yet.”
I was confused. I called them a trickster. I decided to play along, giving consent and asking their order!
They responded with an order and gave me the price of 20.50 USD. I wanted to place MY order but the speaker cut off before I could. I slammed my head into the wheel and the intro drums to “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley played. Then, from around the corner, I saw a beast of hell. The signal of the end times. My ungodly tormenter. The gremlin called Drake.
She, wearing the sonic uniform INCLUDING rollerblades on ALL FOURS spilling coins EVERYWHERE, crashes directly into “my” car and drenches me in sprite, which the Dinner Employee had ordered. We have a very short conversation before I speed off in fear.

Window 2. It is no longer a Sonic, now a Wendy's. A human male greets me. I ask him about whatever the fuck just happened and he mentions the name Drake. I ask him who Drake is. He responds, “The only.”
“The one?” I ask.
“No, just the only.” He responds.
“The only Drake?”
“Other Drakes are sacrificed to god,” he says, “please go to the next window, little lamb.”
Me, not knowing how the fuck to react, does what he says.

Window 3. There is a car in front of me, at the window. I hit it. A GUNSHOT sounds from the drive through window as the person in front of me FUCKING DIES. There is a blood splatter that covers their back window and the car, presumably on its own, pulls out of line and speeds down the road.
I pull up, the worker puts something under the counter and asks my order.
“I’d like a milkshake and 7 dollars.”
“1 buck and I let you get to the next window, take it or leave it.” He says.
“You’ve got a deal,” I responded.
Then, I kid you not, a feral fucking deer crawls through my back seat window.
I, bewildered and speechless, speed off.

Window 4. We are suddenly inside of a waffle house. I slam my head on the wheel three times and turn to the counter.
They claim they have an order for me. Chicken fried rice. On the verge of tears, I take it. An abnormally large and heavy Long John Silver’s take out bag. I open it. It is just plain white rice. Not fried. No chicken. Plain white rice. I was lied to.
I say the order is fine, I give the rice to the deer, I speed through the wall of the establishment and end up on an interstate highway.
On the highway, there is somebody standing on the concrete barrier. I swerve to hit them. As soon as I stop….

Window 5. I am back at the fucking sonic. God help me. The deer is gone. I begin to smash my head into the car horn repeatedly. It makes the sound of a squeaky toy. I message someone with begs for help and they get answered.
Without pressing the button, the speaker turns on. It is the Dinner Employee from the very first window. They say “That’s it. I’m breaking up with you. This dinner was supposed to be special. I’m taking the kids”
I have never been in a relationship (until recently) and definitely do not have children. What the fuck is this person on about.
I continue to bludgeon and bloody my head against the steering wheel, the honk becomes the honk of a geese. Then, my knight in shining fucking armor, Cole Garnet appears.
So much happens. I can’t. I. It’s so terrible to try and recount.
But to sum it up, I stab the steering wheel and it bleeds. I go to the next window despite Cole’s pleads.

Window 6. The final window. They ask for a name, COLE responds. They say they have an order for HIM. and then they give HIM THE ORDER I REQUESTED AT THE VERY BEGINNING! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT KIND OF SICK AND TWISTED GAME IS THIS!
I fucking murdered that guy. Then Cole teleports me back to where I am currently. That’s the end of this story.

Hope you’re happy with this summary, Luna. Look forward to the next two posts, everyone else.

Orpheus, signing off. Remember:
Don’t look behind you.